Wednesday, February 26, 2014

A Tennis Memoir

Meredith had her first home match of the high school tennis season on Monday. She's a cutie out there on the court. She's good too. Watching her and her team is so fun. The girls are all total sweethearts- they call her MerBear and cheer each other on and have tons of inside jokes. No one is excluded and they are all best friends. Their coach is so great too. She's really young and fun and one of the girls. The way I'm describing them makes it seem like I miss tennis too. But let me show you something.

During Mer's match I did some soul searching, examining the inner workings of my heart, you know, what one does as they reminisce and try to determine the state of their emotions. I do it daily, sometimes even hourly, depending on what emotional and heart-wrenching problems fate decides to throw at me. This is the conclusion I came to.
^^^That. That is what I miss about tennis. That alone. And I can get food at home, so it doesn't even really count.

I played on the high school team for three years. I was on jv my freshman and sophomore years and varsity my junior year. I took private lessons and switched coaches and cried buckets of tears for this sport. I won some and lost a lot. I suffered through drama galore. I went through school days in total anxiety, waiting for that day's lineup and desperately hoping my name was on it. When it was, I would squeal with joy, only for my stomach to tie itself in knots as the pressure to win and prove myself set in. That pressure would get to me and I would lose. Not being in the lineup was crushing.

After my junior year season, I had a really rough day at crossfit. I wasn't able to be a crossfit regular during the season because of matches and tennis practice. Then during the season I spent 3-4 days a week sitting and watching matches for 5 hours and eating the Chickfila and Subway and cookies that the moms brought for snacks. I was more out of shape during the tennis season than I was off season. I had a really bad day at crossfit where I realized that I couldn't do things I had been able to do 4 months ago. And then in the spirit of junior year, I had a meltdown. Finally Mom just said, "why don't you just quit it all?"

And for the first time, I considered it. Several days and a whole lot more tears later, I decided to quit the tennis team. No more high school sports for me! And let me tell you, it was one of the best decisions. I haven't missed it once since I quit. And it is so much more fun to watch Mer play her heart out knowing I don't have to play. Plus, there is no more of the oversized sweats that make you look like a blueberry, no more having to wear tshirts three times a week (i hate tshirts with a burning passion), no more anxious waiting for texts from the captains or coaches, no more freezing cold practices and praying for rain cancellations. Now my sport issues are planning when I wash my hair and when to go to crossfit so I keep my hair clean for as long as possible (please tell me i'm not the only one that does that).
Keep it up Mer! I can already tell your high school tennis career is going to be a whole lot more fun than mine. Enjoy it, because you're doing great.

Sincerely, mad 

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