^^^self timer fail because this picture is an accurate representation of what it looks like to deal with college. also, it's one of my favorites.^^^
^^^i don't know what's going on with my foot either. it's fine.^^^
So instead of giving you a whole long essay of an introduction, why don't we just jump into the life lessons? You know, the ones I figured out this year that most of the rest of the world are already aware of? Ok.
First, and this one's the most important one, is don't stand in your own way. As a kid I always told myself I wasn't creative. I convinced myself that there wasn't a creative bone in my body because I could never get the teddy bear on the paper to look like the teddy bear in my head. But now I find myself taping watercolor designs to my closet door and browsing photography blogs in my spare time. I google dslr lenses and have a folder of my favorite pictures ever. Browsing Pinterest and Instagram is like my favorite thing. I've self designated myself the documenter of my little group of friends, and I kind of love it. So yeah, don't tell yourself that you're not this or that, because you totally can be.
Standing in your own way goes for making friends too. This year I dealt with a lot of internal things, issues that I've held on to for way too long. This year I finally hit the wall, the wall that was the tipping point between crumbling for good or just cracking a little bit. It wasn't until I started forgiving and going easier on myself that I was able to talk to people again, whether in the chickfila line or in class. I've held myself back from a lot of really great people and opportunities because I told myself I couldn't do it. I absolutely love where I am right now, but I'm determined not to let fear of failure or rejection continue to hold me back, because the only person telling me that I can't do it is myself. And that's just plain stupid.
Lesson number two- study for the dang test. Write the dang essay. I didn't learn this lesson until literally last weekend, but it pays off. I needed to get an 86 on a test and after the most stressful, nerve-wracking test of my life, preceded by lots of flashcard flipping and timeline drawing, I made an 87. An 8. 7. By the skin of my teeth y'all, but it happened. And even though I'm kind of laughing at how freaked out and nervous I was, and kind of thinking my weekend would have been way more fun if I'd watched netflix or gone hiking, and C's get degrees, right? Even though it was boring to study flashcards, seeing that 87 pop up on the screen was so rewarding guys. I forgot how exciting it is to get that grade you studied hard for. So study for the dang test already, even if watching friends is way more fun.
Also, I've discovered yoga, and guys, I've seen the light. Call me a hippie, but I totally dig the whole zen breathing thing. Take it slow guys. Plus, yoga is way harder than it looks. Just ask my aching back. I used to totally laugh at yoga and say it wasn't really exercise (jokes), so I guess this is kind of along the same lines as stop standing in your own way. Just get out of your head and do things, regardless of whether it's "cool" or "interesting" because it probably is, even if no one labels it as such.
And on the days where you do stand in your own way and you don't study for the test and you spend too much time sleeping/eating/watching netflix/reading, stop yelling at yourself, get a dirty dr pepper, walk around target, talk to your friends, and try again tomorrow.
So now I'm looking at four months away from this new town I call home and back in my little Georgia hometown. It'll be nice to have a break from essays and dorm life and endless reading assignments, but I'm not going to lie, I can't wait to get back out there with my girls and our apartment and my school. College, year one- check that off the bucket list.
Sincerely, mad
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