Friday, April 25, 2014


Today turned into a day where I just felt particularly teenagery. Kind of ditzy and wild and spontaneous where I wanted to do absolutely nothing while I did absolutely everything. I thought about going to tonight's school baseball game because guys I've never been to a baseball game. Like never ever. It's sad, am I even American? If the answer is no, I hope I'm British. Anyways, I didn't go to the game. I went out with the sister missionaries and then came home, changed, and crashed at Megan's. And when I say changed, I mean I changed out of a skirt and put on jean shorts and a tshirt. A tshirt of my own free will. Who am I even? It felt really good. So maybe it'll happen some more, I don't know. Anyways, Megan's dad made burgers (they were amazing! i'm starting to like burgers for the first time ever. it all started with shake shack), we came up with a roommate advertisement for Megan because she committed to college today (yay M-Dawg)! We also took an adventure to go get frosties at Wendy's and videotaped ourselves doing it. It was amusing, maybe I'll put it up here. Then we crashed in her basement and thought about watching a movie and then never did. It was the kind of night where I came home dead tired from doing nothing with hair so crazy curly that I don't know what to do and feeling like I never want to change clothes because tonight was a good enough night that I want to immortalize it forever. Megan is just one of those people where I am 100%, completely, fully myself with, something that I've been thinking a lot about lately. I don't pretend at all ever with her and I don't hold anything back. And it is so refreshing to have someone like that. Everyone needs that kind of a person, and I'm so grateful I found mine during some of the toughest years of my life. Have you ever seen Ramona and Beezus? You know the part where Beezus tells Ramona that she doesn't think she'll ever have a boyfriend because the only boy she is herself with is Henry and they've known each other for fifteen years? Well, then she says, "and who would want to take fifteen years getting to know me?" Sometimes that's what I'm afraid about in college. It's taken me ten years to really figure out who my closest friends in the world are, and now I'm about to leave them all behind in Georgia and move out to Utah to start all over again. And what if I can't find somebody like that? But before you go thinking I'm all depressed, I am really so over the moon excited for college and ready for all of the new experiences it will bring. Sometimes you've just got to put those small nagging fears out there though, you know?

Sincerely, mad

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